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The Secret to a Happy Marriage

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In January my husband and I celebrated our 11th Wedding Anniversary…Celebrating a milestone like our 11th wedding anniversary isn’t necessarily a “shout it from the rooftops” celebration but something you pat yourself on the back because quite frankly, my husband and I have come quite far. So, for today I’d like to share how we got here and what contributed to our success.

My husband Jeff and I met 15 years ago. I was an exchange student from Germany studying and working in Illinois—literally having the time of my life. We met at a party, and yes, it was love at first sight, but we both didn’t want to admit to it. I certainly didn’t want to commit since I very much looked forward to returning home and finish school. But we started dating anyways, we dated for 5 years with a few breakups and heartbreaks due to our long distance relationship (that it lasted 5 years is a miracle!), but ultimately we were the perfect match.

Words cannot express how proud I am that Jeff and I have a successful marriage, it’s my personal icing on the proverbial cake of accomplishments. I am incredibly fortunate to have found the man of my dreams who has given me a glorious life. But we did have our challenges as well. Like any married couple. However, we fought through them, withstand the pressures together which lead us our 11th Wedding Anniversary.

Below are some things I’ve learned that foster a strong & happy marriage.

Friendship

It seems cliché, but it is so true. Being able to tell each other everything and wanting to spend time together is so important. Frankly, I would rather spend time with him than any other person on the planet.

Patience

My husband has taught me a lot of that. I can be quite impatient and he’s probably the most patient man on the planet. Approaching things with patience is important.

Adventures

Just because your married with children doesn’t mean you cannot go on adventures anymore. I live for our family adventures, such as traveling the world or going on road trips together. Creating memories together that is what life is really about.

Do you have any marriage advice? I would love to hear them if you do!

As always, thanks so much for reading & have a great week!

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40 Comments

  1. Nancy
    January 31, 2018 / 1:45 AM

    I think the important thing is to respect each other! Congretulations!

    Reply
  5. jane
    January 31, 2018 / 2:54 AM

    ohmmmyy happy anniv to you and your hubby.
    seems like a great tips esp for me who had 3 years only.
    very inspiring

    Much Love, Jane | The Bandwagon Chic
    New Vlog Entry!

    Reply
  8. Rach
    January 31, 2018 / 7:45 AM

    Congrats on celebrating your 11th anniversary! That is truly amazing and I love hearing about your marriage. I would say communication also makes a difference in a marriage. We don’t always have to agree but communicating and understanding each other helps us resolve anything.

    http://www.rdsobsessions.com

    Reply
  9. Denise
    January 31, 2018 / 7:58 AM

    Happy anniversary, dear V., and congratulations! Such a beautiful picture! I am glad that it survived the distance and that you found, both of you, the love of your lives! I agree with all you said – friendship, patience and adventures and as you asked, I say time alone if possible, that can be included in the adventure tip. Do something alone – I know you do, NYFW and other things. That recharges batteries, put one more in contact with the inner thoughts and it’s nice to have what to share later! Hope you have a lovely day! Many hugs!
    DenisesPlanet.com

    Reply
  11. Lily
    January 31, 2018 / 9:00 AM

    Happy Anniversary, Vanessa! 11 years is a milestone! My husband and I will be celebrating 7 years of marriage next month. It’s a lot of work, but we love each other and are each other’s best friends — friendship and patience are definitely key.

    Reply
  12. Emily
    January 31, 2018 / 9:09 AM

    No married yet, but this is such good advice! Tucking it away for the future! 🙂 Congrats on your anniversary and thanks for sharing!

    xx, Emily | http://www.East91Blog.com

    Reply
  13. Andrea
    January 31, 2018 / 9:51 AM

    Oh Vanessa this is beautiful. You and Jeff have a very similar relationship as Mr. Nine and I do. We are so blessed and I for one can say, Jeff hit the jackpot when he made you his bride. Here is to many more sweet years together! xo

    Reply
  14. Dee
    January 31, 2018 / 10:54 AM

    Congratulations!!!! 🍾 My greatest advice to anyone getting married is to talk everything out until you feel better. I feel like this took my husband awhile to learn when we were dating that if I ever felt unresolved in an area that I needed to talk it through. Now, he can see it in my face if I need to talk or if I need a good cry and it’s tralky comforting to be with someone willing to take that time to tune into you.

    Reply
  16. petiteelliee
    January 31, 2018 / 12:52 PM

    Patience is a MUST!! The amount of times I am ready to blow m y head at my partner but I just have to step away and calm down. And he has to do the same!! Lovely post

    http://www.petiteelliee.com

    Ellie xx

    Reply
  18. Aimara
    January 31, 2018 / 2:43 PM

    What a cute post V! Love all of your advice! Very accurate!
    I think trust is a must and just constantly putting on an effort to just keep the flame alive 🙂
    Have the best day!
    XO
    Aimara
    http://www.waysofstyle.com

    Reply
  20. Yvonne
    January 31, 2018 / 4:36 PM

    Wow, eleven years – congratulations! Respect each other and be able to listen is very important for me! Thank you for sharing!

    xo Yvonne
    http://www.aproposh.com

    Reply
  23. Elma
    February 1, 2018 / 2:18 AM

    Checked jumpsuit made it’s way to my closet via Zara sales which I couldn’t resist.
    http://www.enesn.com

    Reply
  25. Heidi
    February 1, 2018 / 5:17 PM

    I couldn’t agree with this advice any more!! And I still can’t get over that we share the exact same anniversary!

    Heidi || Wishes & Reality

    Reply
  26. mansi
    February 2, 2018 / 12:43 AM

    Congratulations for your anniversary. All the aspects mentioned are really great and important in a married life and can relate the to my life also as i am a happy wifey too. Respect is also one of t he important part. Your feed is really beautiful dear….:)

    http://www.colossalcloset.in/grammy-awards-2018/

    Reply
  27. Irene
    February 2, 2018 / 2:45 AM

    Exactly like nature and beauty in general. Valentino’s last show is a vivid green inspiration.
    http://www.cnaru.com

    Reply
  29. The Style Contour
    February 2, 2018 / 9:21 AM

    Happy Anniversary, beautiful! Eddie and I have been together for 13 years and will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary in October. I agree with everything you’ve shared here in making a marriage work. We’re living in a time when things are more self-centered, so the thought of making a relationship work sacrificially seems quite demanding, but it’s truly what’s required to making it work. You have to be a bit selfless in not only prioritizing your own wants and desires, which is also very important, but also support that of your spouse. Everything is so well said. Thanks for sharing and once again, Happy Anniversary! Cheers to a lifetime of health, joy and success!

    XO,

    Jalisa
    THE STYLE CONTOUR

    Reply
  31. zuneraserena
    February 2, 2018 / 12:25 PM

    So true! I can testify to the above mentioned points.. Very detailed & accurate x
    https://zunera-serena.com/

    Reply
  32. Kent
    February 3, 2018 / 2:01 AM

    Exactly like nature and beauty in general. Valentino’s last show is a vivid green inspiration.
    http://www.okoud.com

    Reply
  33. Eunice
    February 3, 2018 / 11:33 PM

    Exactly like nature and beauty in general. Valentino’s last show is a vivid green inspiration.
    http://www.selww.com

    Reply
  35. violettedaily
    February 4, 2018 / 2:51 AM

    Happy Anniversary! I’m so happy for you! I’m not married but I think these tips are the best to follow to have both for relationship, friendship or wedding! Thank you for sharing and I hope you’re having an great weekend!

    http://violettedaily.com

    Reply
  38. unbouquetdamour
    February 6, 2018 / 8:00 AM

    Congrats on your 11th anniversary, babe! You’ve passed a long way, and I am sure that the best is yet to come!
    My boyfriend and I are not married, but we have been together for almost 9 years, and I can say love and patience are two things that still keep us happy together.

    xo Corina
    http://www.unbouquetdamour.com/think-pink

    Reply

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